3 little piggies when on top of the roof with her friend

A story by Cash

So, one time there was one little piggy named ask cash then ask cash went up to the door and knocked on the door and he huffed and puffed and coughed in his mouth then the little piggy crawled in his ear and tickled him then there was 102,000 piggies helping, they were totally helping. then there was a big bad, bad wolf and there was a fire on top of the roof.  then all the big bad wolves went into the fire and they said ooh oohh owww oww then they all went on fire then they just walked up to the door knocked on it and got blown away. they just stopped and walked slowly, slowly then (inaudible noises) then they got all over the little piggies. Then they just crawled up to the door they just knock knocked on the door, keep doing it all day long when it was dark almost dark then pluuuuuu then they opened the door then falled down. Good end. 

17 months later pt 2

Oh my Jemma Kay. 18 months old. She is tiny. Can't buy her dresses cause she is too short. She wears 6-9 month shoes on those little fat feet. She likes to wear shoes in the house but not in the car and will take them off EVERY.SINGLE.TIME or scream if they won't come off easily. She is so strong willed, independant, impatient and easily angered. She gets irritated easily and squeals so loud sometimes my ears ring. She loves her brother very, very much. She follows him around and does everything he does. She can give high fives fist bumps and blow kisses. She loves to give everyone kisses. She is the best dancer ever. She still has a bow legged walk and when strangers talk to her she gives then a death stare. She eats pretty well with a fork, drinks from cups with straws and loves sweets, fruits and sausage. She's not a big veggie or chicken person. She likes Blues Clues but not really any other TV. She loves to go outside, dig in the dirt and eat it sometimes, too. She says all kinds of words and calls all dogs and cats Tango.  She likes to pet animals but hates dogs that lick her or get too near. She climbs stairs and picks up the first stick she sees when outside. She loves to scribble with crayons or chalk outside. 

I have a feeling she's going to be a tomboy. She's slept 12 hours straight since 8 weeks old. She only sleeps in her crib with her minky blankets to touch while she sucks her thumb. Im saving now for braces. 

17 months later

Life us busy. So busy its been 17 months since I've blogged. I set this up as a diary of sorts because I have such a bad memory and wanted to remember milestones and funny moments with Cash. Along came Jemma and man how things have changed. 

Cash: 4 years old. Sensitive, loving, clingy, sneaky, 100% boy, very smart. 

Likes: Lego anything, video games (he will ask Patrick and I if we want to take a nap so he can play them), Minecraft, star wars, curious George movies, role play (he is the best zombie and robot. He assigns all of us roles too), candy, hanging out at dad's work (he calls it hanging out too!), aggravating his sister, Tango, cats, his friends. (He doesn't have any yet but if he plays with a kid anywhere they are suddenly his friend), chick-fil-a ( because of the playground), drawing Minecraft people, sword fights, gun fights, building forts out of blocks, the park, swimming. 

He will eat raw carrots and broccoli because we tell him it makes him run fast. He will demonstrate running fast after he eats broccoli every time. He loves all sweets and will eat/sneak them as often as he can. He is potty trained but has an accident at night 1-2 times a month. He sleeps in his bed 10% of the time. This is my fault. I love cuddling with him! Even though he sleeps right next to me and wraps his legs and arms around me and gives me 1 foot of actual sleeping space and makes me sweat, I still love it! He loves telling knock knock jokes but never remembers the punch lines so usually inserts "poop" in there  somewhere. Goosebumps the TV show freaks him out. He covers his ears and snuggles ip to dad while watching. He is a great helper in the kitchen but hates following recipes 😜

He is the smartest child on the planet! He can write his 1st and last name. He knows his while name, can give directions to our house, he's pretty good at left and right, he can count to 30 something, can write all the numbers by himself, he can draw some awesome people, he colors in the lines. He is a genius at electronics and half the time tells me how to use them. He loves me reading Marvel Avengers stories to him. 

He is the best big brother.  He helps Jemma all the time. He mostly shares and is patient with her. He lets her help him unload the dishwasher. Its so sweet. He will get his feelings hurt and cry if she doesn't want to play with him. The other night she wouldn't sleep so I brought her in with us and he rubbed her cheek until she fell back asleep. Heart melted. 

He does lots of chores for rewards. Sometimes he's very helpful others he's but feeling it.  He can put his clothes on hangers, wash the coffee table, unload the dishwasher, pick up toys and vacuum. He hates baths and still says he cant wash himself. He is starting to pray which I love. He is growing into such an awesome  little person. 

Adjustments

Trying to adjust to having two kids is hard! Cash is at a point in his life where when you wanted to go somewhere you just dress him and throw him in the car.  No more diaper bags, diapers, wipes, bottles, formula, back up clothes, pacifiers, etc. It's a lot to get together and remember. Now, when you put Jemma in her car seat Cash is running in circles around the car somewhere or trying to jump in the front seat in an attempt to drive.  It's enough to make you pull your hair out.  Add in a husband who takes 45 minutes to get dressed (without a shower by the way) and I'm already ready to come back in the house! 

Doctors appointments are getting more spread out.  We've had 2 extra because Miss Jemma isn't back to her birth weight yet.  I look at her and think, "she was bigger than this inside me?!"  I thought I was doing good in the beginning breastfeeding but I think she got some milk then was just sucking on empty boobs! For real! She had lost almost a pound in 6 days. Not cool. She only needed 5 more ounces at her 2 week appointment to be back at her birth weight.  No more breastfeeding for me so I am hopeful she will gain more than that. 

She is such a good baby I tell you. She only cries when hungry or dirty.  She will sleep almost 6 hours if you let her.  She likes to cuddle.  She doesn't like her bassinet but I try it every time I put her down.  I am determined not to let her sleep with us.  We are still battling with Cash to sleep in his own bed.  It's even harder he is in our bed because I have to wake Jemma up every 4 hours at night to eat so Cash wakes up (no fully) and proceeds to dig his feet in me or wrap his arms around my neck.  He has no regard to Jemma and hits her half the time.  I can't get him to scoot over and get off of me! I try to think "pretty soon he won't even let me hug him, so enjoy it, enjoy it, enjoy it", but man it's hard most of the time.  

Big brother blues.

Cash is having a really hard time being a big brother.  He's not kind to Jemma. He has hit her in the head about 3 times just today.  He's not helpful and acts out a lot.  He ignores you, tells you to quit, throws things and likes to hit you.  I can lift him, or hold him, or drive so we haven't got to spend any alone time together.  This is really hard on him. I tried to sit and talk with him but he has no interest.  P spent the whole day alone with him yesterday and while I got a break, a Cash still acts the same.  I thought he would be a sweet big brother and just love her to death but right now he doesn't like her or having his attention being taken away.  It makes me really sad.  I had very bad issues with guilt about this very thing before Jemma was born and was hoping it would go away once she was born.  I feel like it's my fault he is this way and I hope this doesn't affect him in the future.  I've watched too many Intervention episodes I think. It's only been 3 days and I know he needs time but it is very hard on everyone in this house.

Jemma Kay

 September 24, 2013 5am. My water breaks one day shy of being 39 weeks. The day before my scheduled c-section. I call the doctors office and decide just to head up to the hospital.  Cash was supposed to stay at my sisters the night before the scheduled c-section so he had to go with us.  After a very, very painful cervix check I was dilated to a 1, 50% effaced and -4 station.  In other words, I hadn't changed in a week and if I had decided to VBAC I would have labored all day.

Having a scheduled section I was hoping things were going to go a lot more smoothly than Cash's birth had.  After being stuck 3 times with an 18 gauge needle, by an ER RN no doubt, my nurse already mentioned the words "nurse curse". Here it goes again, I thought.  I talked to the anesthesiologist and told him I was most nervous about the spinal.  He wasn't very reassuring.  They take me in the OR, sit me on the table and attempt the spinal.  I was so nervous, he told me I was hard and he hit a nerve that made me jump and griped at me for jumping.  I started to cry because of nerves and said that I didn't mean to jump, it was involuntary.  I hear the dr say, "I need another kit" and I got even more anxious.  Second attempt was easier, I got numb really fast, they layed me down, and he tested my level, up to the top of my boobs. He was shocked it was so high so fast and I freaked and started to cry.  My awesome nurse came over and told me to stop that she knew exactly what I was thinking and that I was going to be ok.  I did calm down after that.

A few minutes later I felt tugging and the Dr. d shouted "It's a girl", P and I were totally shocked.  We both thought she was going to be a boyI heard her cry and I cried from joy.  I just couldn't believe she was here and I hoped she was healthy.  P took pictures and then they brought her to me.  I said she looked exactly like Cash.  We named her Jemma Kay. I after my sisters lil and big K. 

They take me to recovery and after a small bout of shivering, I started to fell, really, really drugged.  I was so nauseated, I couldn't lift my head or open my eyes.  The room was rolling like an old VCR tape.  Due to hormone shifts I was sweating profusely and very, very hot.  I wasn't hurting though and after about an hour I could move my legs.  They take me to my room and was sick until sometime in the night.  It was the most miserable experience ever.  I was able to nurse Jemma in the recovery room and she did amazing! She does well to this day.  She's healthy and for that I thank God.

Bento boxes

I've seen Bento boxes on Pinterest for a long time. Still, I look at them and think how in the world do people have time to do those? Cash has been stuck in a rut with his lunches.  P throws stuff in the microwave and that is ok once in a while but 3 days a week is not cool. The kid never eats vegetables and barely gets fruit.  Don't get me wrong I'm guilty too mostly because I've been too tired to go to the grocery store.  So, I made Cash 2 lunches for P to pull out of the fridge and give to him, easier than nuking something. I ended up getting sick so I was here to watch him devour his lunches! I think he liked the bright colors and that the food is different from, burritos, corn dogs and pizza rolls.  Day one he had peanut butter and jelly cut into dinosaur shapes, pretzels, cheese stick and oranges.  Day two he had tuna (with hidden carrots) crackers, carrots & cucumbers with ranch, and graham crackers.  I think these people that do these Bento boxes are on to something.  At least I know when I'm at work that Cash is eating nutritiously. 

Mother's Day

I have high hopes for Mother's Day every year. After all, I waited 30 years for one to come my way.

I imagine sleeping in and waking up to breakfast in bed. Then Cash will jump on me in bed telling me how much he loves me and P thanks me for being a great Mom and he appreciates all I do. I don't have to lift a finger all day getting showered in gifts and flowers. I won't have to cook dinner. I will be made to feel special and appreciated.

Every single year I sit home, alone, depressed and disappointed. P always has to work, never thinks to ask for the day off. This year I got a card, from Cash. Nothing from P telling me so much as telling me to kiss his ass. No flowers, no gift...nothing but heartbreak. He didn't even tell me Happy Mother's Day. Never had a dinner or flowers from P. He said he got me a present but I know he ordered me something that he didn't even care enough to order it on time so I could get it today. Today is like any other day, nobody has made me feel special here. So, all you people posting all your gifts on Facebook and saying how sweet and thoughtful your husbands and kids are can kiss my ass.

This one is different but very much the same.

I was reading all my posts from when I was pregnant with Cash today. Brought back all kinds of warm fuzzies. My favorite is that I will never let him eat McDonalds. HA! Anywhoo, I have decided I'm going to blog more about this pregnancy. With Cash I posted on Facebook every single sonogram picture. Haven't had time to do that this time around. By 5 months I had ordered his furniture, had it almost set up and picked his theme for his room. At 5 months P and I were at Babies R Us registering for useless things like burp cloths because we just had to have them. Eighteen weeks is just around the corner and we have done NOTHING to prepare for Cash's little brother/sister. People are giving me a hard time about this. Saying it's not fair and this baby is getting screwed. I have good reasons. 1. That perfect nursery we set up for Cash didn't get used until he was 11 months old. New baby WILL NOT sleep with us after it's born. I will register for a basinet and it can sleep in it at night and his it's crib for naps. I will not make the same mistake with Cash. Plus Cash is still sleeping in the bed with us. 2. The new baby will inherit Cash's old baby furniture since he doesn't use it now. So we won't have to buy more and assmeble it. 3. Picking out a gender neutral nursery is HARD! Everything is so ugly. I do think I found the theme though. It's more like colors than a theme. 4. I have almost every piece of baby equipment from Cash left over. Barely used and all gender neutral: swing, bouncer, walker, jumper, play center, Rock N Play, carrier, play pen, high chair. There are only a few things will will need: double stroller, monitor, basninet, changing table and a diaper genie. My sisters insist on giving me a baby shower. I don't want one because I don't think I'll get the stuff I really need anyway. Plus gender neutral clothes are dumb. 5. We are broke! So hard to make ends meet these days. This go around we don't have a fat savings like we did with Cash. I won't have enough paid time off from work (again) and I haven't decided if I'll go back when my PTO runs out or if we will but bills on credit cards. Who knows... On to how this pregnancy is exactally the same: Morning sickeness (ALL day), headaches, bad back and hip pains. So far everything is the same. This time I don't have to fret about labor and delivery. No labor for me. Prescheduled C-section, I know I'm getting an epidural and I will know his/her birthday exactally. I also and going for a very detailed sonogram with a maternal fetal medicene doctor to check for any problems with baby's development. Hopefully this will save us some worry. I also am sad I don't look pregnant. They say with the 2nd you "pop" sooner and I do think I'm getting bigger sooner I just look fatter and not pregnant. Same as with Cash. I do know one thing for sure I hope this baby is as smart, shy, sweet, beautiful and perfect like my Cashy.

Baby #2

I know I never posted anything about baby #2 so here goes. COMPLETE surprise. OVERWHELMING suprise. GIFT FROM GOD surprise. At a time in our marraige where we were completely overhwelmed and struggling emotionally and financially God gave us the gift of life. I was never so conflicted in my life. Scared beyond belief at how we are going to support another baby when we can barely support our family now. Concerned at how this was going to change our marraige even further. Guilt set in at how can I love another child like I do Cash. Now to spread finances between two children and I may not be able to give Cash everything I didn't have when I was a child. I felt like I was spinning out of control. I couldn't be happy for myself. Worry consumed me. I told a few people and they were so excited. I thought, "how can other people be so excited when I am not?". Consumed with the worry of another pregancy. The normal stressors of a new pregancy, misscarraige, still birth, birth defects and everything else that could go bad. I also worried about my weight. But God always has a plan and I prayed and prayed and prayed. The turning point for me was about 12 weeks when I went in for my monthly check and the NP couldn't doppler a heartbeat. Scared the crap out of me because this never happened with Cash. The feeling of saddness and worry flooded my brain. They send me in for and ultrasound. I was alone because Cash was asleep in the car with P. I didn't expect a sono so I told him to stay in the car. A few minutes later she had me in for an ultrasound and there it was a heartbeat. I was relieved beyond belief. At that point I said no more bad feelings or animosity towards this gift of life growing inside of me. I allowed myself to be excited. Here we are at 17 weeks. Heart rate was 160 which my OB said olds wives tales says girl. Well, we shall wait and see. This time we will not find out the gender. We are not even sharing names we have picked out. This journey I started in April 2010 is not over yet. I just never thought it would continue with a brother or sister for my sweet Cash! FYI-I suffer from PCOS which stands for polycystic ovarian syndrome. I went on birth control pills when I was 18. I gained about 40 pounds after that. I blamed it on the birth control pills. When I got married in 2005 I went off the pill in hopes to start a family. It didn't happen. In 2007 I was having a lot of pain and was diagnosed with PCOS. I was put on metformin ( a pill to regulate your blood sugars and in turn your hormone levels) in hopes to get pregnant. I had a lot of side effects and didn't get pregnant so I went off metformin. I had the cysts removed surgically in 2008 and still wasn't able to get pregnant. P and I had come to terms with not having children. I am a firm believer in if it's meant to be it will happen. It just wasn't meant to be for us. In 2010 I was going to have the lap band done. For insurance I was required to go on a doctor monitored diet. I lost 16 pounds. The day before my last doctors appointment I found out I was pregnant. Fast forward to January 2013 I lost 8 pounds in 2 months doing Weight Watchers and then I find out I'm pregnant. The moral of my story, a girl who never thought she would have kids due to PCOS, is LOOSE WEIGHT. Weight gain precipitates the development of PCOS and if you loose weight, for me as little as 8 pounds, you have a better chance of getting pregnant. No doctor ever told me that.

Toddler

Cash is a crazy man. Talking so good, repeating everything you say. Starting to say really funny things all on his own. Like the time I told him he stunk and asked if I could check his diaper. He repiled, No, I fart. Or the time he wrote all over himself and insisted they were tattoos. Funny stuff I tell you. His eating habits are crazy. Can't even sneak veggies in on him. He loves PB & J sandwiches, anything cheese, cupcakes, candy and cheetos. I've been supplementing with Pediasure and he seems to like it. Gives me a little reasureance on the vitamin level. Trying to convince him that he is going to be a big brother isn't working so well. He is clueless. He knows Mama has a baby in her belly but he doesn't really know what that means. Potty training is kinda hit or miss (haha). For about a month he pooped and peed in his potty everyday when his diaper was off. Recently not so much. He pooped on the kitchen floor today and pees everywhere all the time. Hard not to keep a diaper on him when he is marking every inch of the house several times an hour. I'd like to get him potty trained before the baby comes but I don't see that happening in give ro take 160 days. He has been spending a lot of time at his Granny and Papa's house. It's pretty much his favorite place and Papa is his favorite person. I'm so glad because I didn't know my dad's parents (don't even know their names) and my mothers parents I wasn't that close with. Cash's imagination is awesome and he loves to pretend. You have to guide him and give him ideas but he takes off on his own. He loves to line all the kitchen chairs up at the door and pretend they are a bus or train and give all his stuffed animals a ride. He won't sleep in his toddler bed for anything. We have tried everything. I think we are going to have to convert him to a full size bed and try that. Works out ok because his baby furniture can go to the new bambino anyway. He loves to cook with me. He uses a knife when he's beside me. He loves to taste things and say with the widest most suprised eyes, "I wike E" translated to "I like it". I'm going to have to change the name of the blog since baby #2 will be here roughly in October.

We've got a talker on our hands.

My lil man is really growing up! He says things that amaze me all the time. We were watching TV and he completed the jingle of the Farmers commercial. Right out of no where. Tripped me out! He like commercials, especially ones with animals in them. The other day he pointed to letters on a box and correctly identified "B" and "C". Doesn't know "A" but hey I couldn't believe it! I guess the $5 I spent on that Elmo app is really paying off. He is banging his head less. By less I mean he will only hit it one time now instead of 20. I think he has permanant bump on his head. I hope it doesn't hang around and he grows out of this very soon. He doesn't want to sleep in his crib and cries EVERY night. Most of the time he will sit and play (I love watching him play on the monitor) the start nodding off and finally he will lay down. It's pretty funny. I'm still contemplating putting him in a Mothers Day Out program at the local church. He enjoys playing with kids so much. I'll reevaluate in the summer though because there are too many sicknessess going on at the moment! He is currently on antibiotics for a sinus infection. In 16 days my booger will be 2. I can hardly believe it. His party is trains. One of his favorite things. I plan on going all out for every single on of his birthdays FYI. I don't care if he will remember or not. I his invitations and party decorations are all handmade from Etsy. The invitations were $4 each but totally worth it in my eyes. I'll post pictures when I get everything in!

Here we go again.

I blame it all on my sister Lil K. I just had to treat P to a little birthday "somethin somethin". Who knew that exact day I was ovulating? The next day I was spotting which I chalked up to the beginning of my period. The next day the sickness started and for the next two weeks, sickness and nausea. The same symptoms I had when I was pregnant with Cash. Three pregnancy tests confirm, I am pregnant again. Loosing weight has done it again! Weight Watchers brought me down 8 whole pounds. Apparently, 8 less pounds is enough to help you get pregnant.

Total shock has turned into panic. They say with your second you have the "been there, done that" mentality but I don't. First, I am about 15 pounds heavier than before I had Cash. I am consumed with the fear of miscarriage. I know I did the same thing with Cash but I'm still scared. I feel like I had the perfect pregnancy with Cash and this time I'm testing fate. I pray and pray and pray. I pray for my trust in God to be strengthened and that I realize he has a plan for me and my family. I pray my fears go away and that He will never give me more than I can handle. I think I will feel better once I have my first doctors appointment and see the tiny blip on the screen. For those reading this pray for me. Pray for a healthy pregnancy and baby, that my worrying and fear stop and pray that I can trust him.

List of words

airp-airplane sta-star ooon-moon boon-balloon moo-says the cow choo choo honk ite-light noooo ess-yes papa mommy daddy babe peeese-please an ew-thank you backpack-(when he sees Dora) peepee yay kinkle kinkle kinkle-singing Twinkle Twinkle little star un ew ee- one, two, three

Trucking Along

Life is trucking along. My sweet boy is growing and growing and growing. He says new words each day which for some reason continues to amaze me. He is SO smart. He can't talk much but he can point to everything that you ask him to. I taught him where his heart was the other night and he pats it "boom...boom" like I taught him. He loves butterfly, eskimo and elephant kisses. He is SUPER shy around people, especially strangers. He will hold on to my neck so tight. I love it but was hoping he would be outgoing and not so shy. He got his 2nd haircut a few weeks ago and it makes him look even more grown up than ever. It's a faux hawk and so awesome! His hair is still bleach blonde and I hope it doesn't change for a long time. Little boys are cute with blonde hair but adults not so much. He loves the moon, stars, airplanes and trains. He loves to draw with a pen and paper. Every night he reads a story to his 3 bears and kitty cat. That is how he eventually falls asleep. Some night when he doesn't want to sleep I will bring him in the bed with me and we will sing songs, tell stories and snuggle. He sings Twinkle Twinkle Little Star with me. It's enough to melt my heart. He gives lots of kisses and has to be right next to me. I think he knows that as long as he is doing this he won't have to go to his crib. I love it so much. Only twice has he fallen asleep in bed with me. He has too much fun to sleep! Here are the words he can currently say: (I'm sure I'm forgetting some) moon star spoon thank you please mama daddy babe yes no stop choo choo He says anything you ask him to repeat but these are the ones he says a lot. Work has been very busy lately. The last 3 Mondays I have to drive BACK to work after getting off, driving and hour home, eating and I just lay down to bed. My days turn into 21-22 hour days. It's exhausting knowing you have to get up and chase around a toddler the following day. P and I are going to spend a much needed day off together this weekend. Cash is going to his grandparents to spend the night for the first time. I'm really nervous but I think I'm just going to miss him too much :(

Let's play a little catch up.

Honestly my posts are few and far between because I rarely use my laptop anymore. My iPad is my life and I highly recommend everybody get one! It's just hard to type on it, so I don't. Halloween is approaching. Cash got invited to his first Halloween party! He is going as a rockstar. Wish me luck with the spiked hair part. For his actual Halloween costume he is going as Chucky! If Granny P can get fabric and sew his shirt. It's harder than you can imagine to find a shirt like Chucky wore. I'm excited to see how it will turn out. Cash continues to get smarter everyday. You show this kid something once he can do it forever. With that being said he also continues to test his dad and me and push as far as he can. He likes to throw tantrums that went from headbanging to hitting himself in the stomach now it's throwing himself on the floor. I have also inacted spanking. He cries and then proceeds to say "mommy" and hug me everytime. Starting to think of his 2nd birthday too. It's a little over 3 months away. I just can't believe it. Since he turned one time has just flown by! The battle of the pacifier "paci" will soon be starting. Now he only uses it to go to sleep. It's going to be really hard. The day he turns 2 it's gone forever. Some of my favorite things he does now: closed mouth kisses. for no reason. always first thing when he wakes up. Eskimo kisses are his favorite. when he runs. He smiles and takes off. It's kind of fast walking with a bounce. he loves loves loves to cook. If I'm at the kitchen counter or washing dishes he pushes a chair right up and helps me with whatever I'm doing. It's cute until he pushes it up to the stove and thinks it's ok. His expressions are priceless. They make me laugh out loud. I love how silly he is.

Lots going on but nothing really going on.

Cash is 19 months, 33 inches, 25 pds. He can pretty much repeat anything you tell him to say. He's funny. He's bad. He's teething which brings out the brat in him. He has been banging his head on anything hard when he's super tired and grumpy. He's got the lumps, bumps and bruises on his forehead to prove it. Pediatrician says he won't bang hard enough to hurt himself so I just act cheery and ignore him/go on my merry way. This will either 1. piss him off and bang his head more or 2. make him stop and follow me crying his eyes out rubbing boogers and snot on my pant leg. He'll out grow it...eventually. He likes to be so independant. He won't sit in a seat of any kind at the table. He stands in a chair. Resturants are a no go unless it's 3 pm when no one is there so he can proceed to climb on me and scream and be crazy. He loves to push a chair to the counter and cook or wash dishes. Don't you dare move him or he will throw himself backward like you just took away his candy. Strollers are also a spawn of the devil according to Cash. I got him a back pack with a leash but I feel so dumb using it. He doesn't like not being able to run as far and fast as he can either. "Driving" his his favorite. He likes to turn the steering wheel, put the key in the ignition and turn the radio on. I literally have to pry his hands off the wheel to go inside. Kinda sorta working on potty training. Got some underwear for Cash today and OH MY WORD are they cute on his little tush. He goes with P to pee as often as he can to see what it's all about. He only likes to flush. He knows what pooping is because he will go off by himself, in a corner or other room and come back with a hand full of poop. Yeah, almost everytime. It got old the 2nd time he did it and we are on time #5,390 so we are beyond ready for him to go in the toliet! For P and I: work, pay bills and keep Cash occupied.

Mostly about me

Took Cash swimming at his great Aunt S's house last week. He had the best time. He was fearless and loved being thrown up into the air. He is getting so tall. I look at old pictures and I barely recognize him. Kinda getting baby fever again but not because I want a little baby to hold. It's because I feel like I'm getting older and my clock is ticking. I don't want to be old and fat having a baby. Too many complications. So we will see what God has in store for me. Struggling with my weight. Took family picures last month and I look absolutely horrid in them. I keep saying I will start a diet soon but I just can't seem to do it. I feel guilty most of all. Guilty I can't run with Cash. Guilty I can't take him on rides at the water park. Guilty that I have no self control or drive to diet and excerise. Guilty that one day Cash will be embarrased of me. Guilty that I could leave this world early and leave Cash motherless. You would think that would make me diet but it doesn't. Food addiction sucks. Cash can point to parts on his body. He says mama daddy and ewww. We have been waiting for words for so long. I really don't want him to have to have speech therapy. Other than that we just try to keep him busy around the house cause man. it's hot outside!

Exploring

Cash is getting really good as saying Mama. He says it all the time. His favorite things to do are open the dishwasher, pull everything out and then put it all back in. He does this all while standing in the dishwasher lid. He hates going into his carseat. He wants to stand and turn on the dome light. Or crawl into the front seat and honk the horn and play with EVERY knob or button on the dashboard. Buttons are his thing.

Lil J is in town from Cal i forn e i a. Cash is having a grand time playing with all her kiddos. He just loves other kids so much. I'm already dreading her return home on Monday.

Mothers day.

Cash was sweet today. It was a great day because of that! A few times I told him "no" he would start crying and walk over to me, put his head on my shoulder and cry like someone hurt his feelings. He is shy around people at first but after a while he warms up and he is his normal crazy self. He has a fascination with pulling up people's shirts. He loves to kiss other babies; just because. You don't even have to ask him to. He is obsessed with sticking his hands down his pants. Anytime his diaper is off he is pushing on his penis or belly button. He likes to stick stuff in his ears and eating crayons. I took his stuffed animals out of his bin to but them in his room and he picked them up and tried to put them back in the same bin. He won't point to his parts but he will close his eyes, brush his hair, wipe his mouth, blow is nose and stick out his tongue. I think that means he knows his parts!even though he can't talk he can tell you what he wants. Today I was standing in the step into his playroom and he pulled my pant leg gesturing me to come in. it amazes me how smart he has become.