Sadness has set in.

I have less than 3 weeks before I have to go back to work. I am already getting sad about it. I am going to miss my sweet baby boy so much. P will be here with him when I'm not but I worry just when I go to Wal-Mart without him. I have to call P and make sure everything is ok. P doesn't have the patience I do and I am worried that he won't be able to handle being with him for 14 hours (or more) while I am at work. My sister Lil K will probobly have to keep him once a month and I worry that he will miss us while he is with her. I keep conjuring up this image in my head that he is thinking, "where is my mommy and daddy". I am fortunate enough to get to work only 3 days a week so I will get to be with him a lot but I still will miss him like crazy.

I am also getting kind of sad about him growing so fast. Don't get me wrong, I am ready for him to sit up, hold things and eat baby food, but I enjoy so much about him being little. I hold him and I think, "one day he is going to be too big to hold and cuddle". I don't mind spoiling him and him being a mama's boy. What is so bad about that? Me giving him whatever he wants because he is worth it? Or him loving his mama like crazy? I am going to miss him smiling at me when I make funny noises or smile at him. I am going to miss him calming down as soon as I pick him up. I am going to miss cuddling with him at night. I am going to miss his toothless grin and the way he moves both arms and legs when he gets excited. I am going to miss his soft skin and his baby smell. I love him like crazy.