The gift of motherhood

Mothering instinct.

Such a fascinating concept to me. I had my first nephew when I was 12. My first niece when I was 15 and 3 others since. I moved in with my sister when I was 15 so my nephew and I were super duper close. We shared a room and slept together. I told him stories everynight and would take him everywhere with me. I did the same with my niece. I loved them like you wouldn't believe. My other 3 nieces came along and I loved them so much. I loved being an aunt. They would come over on weekends and holidays and we would do all kinds of fun stuff. Sno-Cones for breakfast, movies and popcorn, going to the park and shopping. The best part was that you could give them back when you were tired! I didn't think I could love anyone more than I loved those 5 kids.

Then I became a mother.

You spend all those months with a baby growing inside of you, changing your body so much. I would spend hours talking to my husband about how we were going to discipline him and how we would raise him, the lessons and values we would instill in him. Then when he was born and I looked into his eyes and him into mine some light bulb inside of me that had never been turned on lit up inside me. Suddenly you knew true love. You had this love that lay dormant inside of you wake up and take over your body. You immediately knew a new language-baby language. You could understand his cries and body language. You could feel his pain and uncomfortableness and his happiness. Nothing makes your heart skip a beat like the first time he smiles at you. He doesn't know any of the selfish mean things you have done in your life and he smiles at you because you make him happy. He wants to be close to you and held and just knows you are his mom. You make him calm just by being his mother.

Pee and poop become wet and stinky not the grossest things you have ever seen. Spit up becomes part of your outfit and his slobber is melted sugar juice. When he hurts you hurt 100 times more. You would do anything and sacrifice anything for him. You are only happy when he is happy.

It's funny how much becoming a mother changes you. I would have never expected my life you transform into something so beautiful and wonderful when I had my amazing son.