You don't get it.

My work is starting to tick me off. One of my favorite people that I work told me that since I am now getting 3 days a week off that some of my co-workers are talking trash. I promptly replied, "I don't care and they can kiss my ass." They have no idea how hard it is to be pregnant let alone being pregnant and working. I didn't even ask who it was because I already know and could care less. Today we were short staffed and I knew I was going to have to work more than I am used to but everytime I sat down this one person asked me to do something. I never said no because if she ever complains I will be able to say I never said no when someone asked me to do something. She asked me to push a bed today and I was about to say that I couldn't but my pal P told her, "she can't push that bed!". She didn't say anything back to him and I was laughing on the inside. See, she thinks I should be able to do everything that she can. Try gaining 33 pounds in 6 months. Try every time you get up from a chair your pelvis feeling like it is going to fall apart. Try peeing every 30 minutes. Try waking up at least 3 times a night to pee and your pelvis being so stiff that you can barely walk to the bathroom. Try everytime you lay on the couch your husband has to pull you up. Try peeing a little each time you sneeze. Try not being able to go grocery shopping without your back hurting so bad you can barely walk. Try barely being able to get out of your car. Try not being able to walk around the house without getting out of breath. Try all of those while WORKING. They don't understand and it really ticks me off. And you know what else? At least I am working 3 days still. I could not be working AT ALL and you would be even shorter staffed.

Oops I did it again.

Christmas Eve Fajita feast was a hit! Everyone kept saying how good and tender the meat was. I am glad that they finally got to taste my favorite restaurant. I am so glad that I didn't make anything except 3 different kinds of breads for my sisters. I slaved over a hot oven for 4 hours (with breaks) making those breads. By 5pm when everyone got here I was so exhausted. I could barely enjoy anything because I just wanted to lay down. I didn't even do anything except bake those breads and sweep the floor and vacuum 2 rooms. I was miserable by 9:30 when everyone finally left. I could barely walk to bed my back, ankles and pelvis were so sore. I layed down and cried. P rubbed my back and ankles and I ended up falling asleep. It was awful. It really depresses me that I can barely do anything without being miserable later on. I'm afraid to go to the grocery store even. Yesterday we drove to P's moms and I took it easy. They cooked for me, waited on me hand and foot and I sat in the mechanincal chair that lifts you up. I took a 2 hour nap in that chair while P sat out in the deer stand. It was just what I needed. Next week I thought I would do 4 days a week instead of the 3 that I'm scheduled for but I'm starting to think that isn't such a good idea anymore. Now, that Christmas is over P and I are going to start money crunching. I only have 4 weeks of work left which is only 2 more paychecks and they won't be 40hr checks.

What happened to my energy?

Yesterday I over did it BIG TIME. I was feeling great and full of energy. I went to bed at midnight the night before and got up at 7am so that I would be able to sleep that night for work in the morning. I headed to Wal-Mart for grocery shopping and came home. Then I took dog one to groomer. She poops in the place and was acting all kinds of crazy. Came home. Took dog two to the vet. He is 80pds and did not want to go to the vet for whatever reason. He was pulling me around the parking lot like a rag doll. The pavement was wet so when we left he jumped in my car and got black paw prints everywhere. Sigh. Picked up dog one from groomer. Came home. Took a shower because I felt so gross from dealing with them and I was sweating like a pig in the vet. Took dog three to another groomer because they do a better job. She is a princess and didn't want to walk so I had to carry her. She is only 9pds so I don't mind. Went to the dentist. I thought I was going to pass out from heat stroke because for some reason they had the fireplace on and it was 71 degrees outside. Had a good cleaning and got relaxed. Yes, cleanings relax me; I don't know why. Now, to wait on dog three to get done at the groomer. Thought I would pass the time by going to Bed Bath & Beyond. Big mistake. I started feeling bad, the place was jam packed and I thought I was going to pass out. I don't know if I was dehydrated or exhausted but I felt like crap. I sat out in the parking lot and did some people watching and called P as soon as he got off work. I told him he had to meet me to eat or I was going home and he had to come back and get dog three. I had to either eat or lay down, I wasn't really sure. He met me to eat and I could barely eat anything. I felt so weak. I came home and went to bed. At work today I still felt very tired and still do. Needless to say I learned my lesson and won't be doing that much until after I have this baby.

and the days keep dragging along...

The days seem to be dragging. I'm getting bigger and bigger. I feel like I have so much energy and less aches and pains. The only pains I have is when I go from sitting or laying to standing. I feel like my pelvis is ripping in two! It's very uncomfortable. Dr. D said it is just the pelvis getting loose and seperating for birth.

I have cut down on hours at work and I really don't know why. I guess I thought by this point that I would be miserable but I'm not. I just don't want to work. The first week of January my boss has me working 3 days a week but I really need to work more because I am getting worried about needing money. Once Christmas is over we will have every opportunity to save as much money as we can so maybe I can cut down on my days. I have also decided to take off the week before I am due in case my water breaks at work I don't want to be so far from home. Dr. D said that when it does that contractions start in about 30 minutes and I don't want to be driving when that happens. The only bad part of that is it is one less week that I will get to be off after I have C. And, what if I am late? Then it will be so much wasted time. Maybe my boss will let me take another week off.

My baby shower at work was sweet. I got lots of diapers, a gift card, some cash, a few clothes, a blanket and one of my favorite CRNA's got us a playpen! I really feel blessed to have recieved so much stuff. The only thing we will have to buy is a monitor, breast pump, and high chair. I think we did pretty darn good. I can't wait for P's mom to finsh his bedding. I want to take picture of it all put together!

It's been a while.

It's been a while since I have posted anything. Everything is going good so far. At his last sonogram a week and a half ago C weighed 4 pds 3 oz. I can't believe I have a 4 pound human growing in my belly! I have gained 27 pounds so far. I can now feel him kicking most of the day and it is right under my boobs at the top of my belly. I can even see my belly moving. It's pretty amazing. At the last sonogram his head was down he was laying on his right side. Everything seems to have formed normally and Dr. D said he will be approx 7.5-8pds. That's a big baby! I just hope that the things they can't see on sono won't be present like mental retardation, cleft palate or spina bifida, blindness or deafness when he is born.

Work is getting more difficult. The bending and walking back and forth takes all my energy. I have mainly been doing a desk job but every now and then they will have me recover a patient and today it seemed to be the most difficult one. He had came intubated (breathing tube still in from surgery). His blood sugar was 57 (normal is 70-120). I had to give him IV "sugar" and he was screaming in pain after they took out the breathing tube. Then he had to pee but couldn't stay awake long enough to do that. Then he had to poop so I had to give him a bed pan. All this required me to go back and forth to the drug machine to get medications out, struggle to pull down pants and underwear, bend down while I held the urinal, then get him to lift up to put a bed pan under him all while going back and forth to my computer to chart everything. Then when he was awake enough to go to his room I had to help push a big hospital bed down 2 sets of hallways. See why work is so exhausting for me? I can't do the 10 hour days anymore so next week I am going to do 4-8 hour days. My doctor appointments are getting more frequent so I still need my 1 day off a week. The bad news is I will only get 32 hours a week. That is going to make a big difference on my check.

My work is throwing me a baby shower tomorrow. I feel so lucky that they like me enough to do this for me. But I do hate going up there on my day off. It won't feel like a day off and I can't rest. Bummer.

What I'm thankful for.

My husband. Without him my life would be pointless and boring. He loves me no matter what and puts up with me. I can't imagine my life without him.
My baby. I am truly blessed by God to be able to concieve and grow a human inside me. It is a miracle and I thank God for this awesome opportunity.
My sisters. We have all been through so much in our lives together. Lil K and I have always been close because we are 1 1/2 years apart in age. Big K and I were never close. She was 4 years older and she picked on us and beat us up! Now we are all so close and I love them a lot!
My nieces, nephew and great niece. I am thankful that they are all happy, healthy and smart. They love me so much (even the 17 year old!)and my life is better because they were born.
My BFF lil J. She lives all the way in Washington and we never talk on the phone but when we are together it is like she has lived next door the whole time. Her 3 kids are my godchildren and I couldn't be luckier! We have so much fun when we are together and there is never drama between us.
My BFF big J. We have known each other since we were in 4th grade and became best friends in 10th grade. We can go months without talking or seeing each other but I know she will be there for me ALWAYS. I can always count on her. She never judges me and there is no drama between us, ever!
My career and job. Everything happens for a reason and I think God had it planned for me all along to come to the hospital where I'm at. I love my job and am so much happier then when I was at the previous hospital. I have learned so much and can work pretty much anywhere with what I have learned at the two hospitals combined. My boss is amazing. She is very flexible and pretty much will let me work whenever I want and as little or as much as I want. She is very fair and easy on me. My benefits allow me to take almost my whole maternity leave with pay. Working as an RN has allowed me to be comfortable in life. I can buy what I want when I want it and save some money as well. I can't see me doing anything other than being a nurse!

What are you thankful for??

the Inbetween.

So, I'm 29 weeks today. Sometimes I don't even feel pregnant and somedays I feel like I'm 10 months. My work has been being pretty easy on me and letting me do the one job that uses the least amount of energy. I appreciate that, a lot. I can barely bend over a patient's stretcher without it killing my back. I get so out of breath doing the littlest tasks. I wish I didn't have to work at all but this is the real world and not Tiffany's dreamland.

Clothes are starting to tick me off. The maternity clothes that I have are too big and of course my normal clothes are too small. The only clothes I feel comfortable in are PJ's and I can't wear those everywhere. I wish I could but I can't. I refuse to buy anymore maternity clothes because of three reasons: they are expensive; plus size maternity clothes are hard to find and mostly available online only(hince the reason they are too big); and I probobly will never need them again. My "maternity wardrobe" consists of one long sleeve shirt, one short sleeve shirt, a sleeveless dress(it was on clearance) and one pair of maternity jeans. The rest of my pregnacy wardrobe consists of a few t-shirts, a few blouses that still fit and a few pairs of black stretchy work out type pants. I always feel so frumpy and hardly ever match. THAT is the reason why I don't like to go do anything these days. It's pretty frustrating. (as I am typing C is moving around and I remember that this is ALL going to be so worth it when I see him for the first time).

Back to the doctor on tomorrow. I hope everything continues to go well. I should have another songram at my next appointment and I can't wait to see how much he has grown!