Changes

We went to a co-workers wedding on Friday. It was a great party and Cash had a wonderful time. He was held and loved and got to stay up late. Everyone adored him. My boss danced and loved on him most of the night. Another co-worker commented about how good he was. He didn't cry or get fussy until he got hungry when we left. I was very proud of my big boy. Cash also took off walking with his push toy today and I actually got it on video. He will be walking in no time. One of his favorite things is when I get on my hands and knees and crawl to him. It make him go wild. He starts bouncing and smiling and gets very excited. It makes my heart swell. Big changes at P's work. He is no longer able to work 12 hour shifts so, he will now be working 30 hours per week and will no longer get a vacation. He probobly will no longer be the assistant manager either. This means he will probobly not get a raise either. The new owners no longer do 401k either. Real bummer all around. I will probobly have to start working 3-13hr shifts to make up for what he isn't able to work anymore. We will make sacrifices so that we will continue to have family time. We think that is really important for our relationship and for Cash. It's going to get hairy when I work weekends though. We are going to have to get baby sitters. Probobly P's mom and my sis Lil K. The only problem with that is that they are both so far away. Cash's halloween costume came in the other day. Lil J did such a great job! Cash has grown since we measured though and P's mom is going to have to alter it a bit. It's a unique funny and scary costume and I can't wait to take some pictures in it! We are going to do the Safe Spook at the local businesses in town since it is before dark and Cash can't eat the candy anyway.

A little update

Not much going on in our world. Just chasing Cash around and making sure he doesn't hit his head (too hard) on the floor. Making sure when he pulls up on something (because that's all he does now-a-days) that it doesn't fall and hit him in his head. And making sure he isn't eating something he shouldn't. He is 8 months old now and waves at things but not when you tell him "hi" or "bye bye". He has been on car trips to Waco to see my dad and step mom and to First Monday. He did great in the car each time and usually just falls right asleep. He doesn't like riding in the back when it's dark though and will scream his lungs out. He won't sleep in his crib for anything and I got some great advice from my 45 year old step sister: Don't worry about it and worry his baby hood away making him sleep in his crib. She said it won't hurt him by not sleeping in his crib. So guess what? I'm not going to try to make him sleep in there any more. When he is ready, he will sleep in his own bed. Until then, CUDDLE TIME! He is still fighting his sleep from time to time and has to be rocked. P has that duty. My back can't handle it since I had Cash. He is in some of his 12 month clothes and growing like a weed! Lil J is making his Halloween costume and shipping it from WA and I can't wait to post a picture of his costume!! Hopefully we will get to go Trick or Treating with cousin A but if not if will be local business Trick or Treating during the day time. I just want to show off his awesome costume anyway since he can't eat the candy. We are starting to give him table foods like bread and crackers and he loves it! He has began to eat chicken baby food but won't pick up food and put it his mouth yet. He just smushes it. Still no teeth, but I'm not worried. They will come, eventually. Just had to get up and get Cash before he put a screw in his mouth from the A/C vent. You gotta be on your toes at all time with that little guy! Well, I think that sums it up to this point. Gotta go make a bottle!

7 months 3 weeks

Since Cash started crawling then days later standing all he wants to do is stand, on everything. Toy baskets, shelves, fireplace hearth, speakers, wipes box, push toy, high chair, the couch, our legs...EVERYTHING! It's pretty funny to watch and nerve racking at the same time. He has hit his head so many times I have lost count. P and I are professionals at watching for concussions. I just had to stop typing because Cash tried to grab a baby gate leaning against the wall and it fell on his head and scared him. He is into everything all the time. Still no teeth. I swear the last 2 days he has been teething though because he has been SO grumpy. Screaming, cry, fight his sleep. He wants to be held all the time and doesn't even like his stroller. He is saying Mama and Dada but not really to either of us. We are practicing waving but he hasn't figured it out just yet. We are also teaching "NO" but he hasn't gotten that one yet either. He's not interested in his jumper of walker anymore and cries when we try to put him in it. He is 7 months and 3 weeks old and growing up way too fast for this Mama!

my lil explorer

Cash has been crawling for 8 days. He is following me all over the house. He wants to go into the bathroom in particular and get into the dog bowls. He drags one leg and puts the other one straight out. He is so fascinating to watch him discover things. He will focus on one little piece of something on the ground and stay there for 10 mintues trying to pick it up. He is more steady and falls less. He pulled himself up on my Big J's couch Friday and today I was on Pinterest, looked over and he is standing beside his walker with one had on it and the other grabbing at his pacifier in his mouth. That boy is going to be walking in no time. I guess this is where everything starts to whiz by in the blink of an eye.

Hey that rhymed.

The worst nightmare I could ever possibly have

I had a terrible dream last night.
I don't know how it happened but Cash died. I was so grief stricken I can't even describe the pain I felt. I don't know where P was. It was like I was all alone. I was going around the city doing something but it seemed like aimless driving. I kept picturing Cash in my head. It was pictures of him smiling and being happy. It made me smile but cry at the same time. I was telling someone, so much for his having to get his handprint at one year. It seemed like P but it wasn't him. Maybe it was a friend I was with. I don't remember any faces except mine and Cash's.

I woke up thinking about this horrible dream. It made me kiss him a little more and appreciate him even more. Maybe this happened because I have been getting frustrated with his crying and fighting his sleep lately. Maybe it was God's way of saying, "Hey! Look what you have! It could be a lot worse and you could not have him at all! I gave him to you for a reason and be more patient with him!" Well, I gotta tell you it worked.

Why?

Why do babies fight their sleep so much? There has got to be a scientific explanation out there somewhere.

Why can't Cash sleep in his crib? It's not Mommy and Daddy. He has cried for 2 hours straight and won't go to sleep. When you finally pick him up he does that "Ive been crying too much and can't breathe" thing that kids do.

Why does Cash have to shove his hand in your mouth to go to sleep?

Why don't I have more patience sometimes?

Why do P and I bicker about the most retarded things sometimes?

Why are we broke all the time?

My apologies.

It has been almost a month since I have written! Wow. Between Cash and work and doctors appointments and housework I have no time to do anything else. I work 3 12 hour shifts a week. I get up at 5am, drive an hour to work, get off at 7:30 an get home at 8:30. I play with Cash, eat dinner and then get him ready for bed. I'm lucky to get in bed by 10pm each night. It is very exhausting for both P and I but it saves us daycare costs which we can't afford. Hell, we can barely afford anything now-a- days. I really don't know where all our money goes. Each of our paychecks are already spent before we get them. We don't eat out or go to movies or dates anymore. Diapers, formula, wipes and clothes and toys must be the culprit. Our savings is dwindling as well due to the purchase of our new floors and we have no money to replace what we take out of savings. P and I both working 4 ours less a week has really taken a toll on our wallets. We even talked about turning off the satellite but have yet to do so.

Cash is almost 7 months old. When I think of a 7 month old I think of a big kid! That is closer to one year old than not. I'm going to try not to give up on making his baby food but now that he needs meat and more grains it's going to get harder and more time consuming. He gets frustrated with a sippy cup and will try it but gives up. P has spoiled him rotten. He wants to be held ALL THE TIME. He is 100% sitting up on his own. He will roll from side to side. He will get in crawling position and go to his belly then after about 5 minutes he is screaming. He can go 360 degrees on his belly but thats about it. He won't sleep in his baby bed. Most of the time he goes to sleep pretty good if you lay beside him on the bed but he will still get over tired and fight you so bad! He does this weird thing when you are getting him to sleep; he has to have his fingers in your mouth or grabbing your lips. It's quite annoying when his fingernails are long. Hopefully he will out grow this. He sits up in the cart and high chairs at resturants all by himself. He loves drinking water you give him from a straw. He is becoming himself more and more each day. Sigh...