So What, Who cares?

I got to watch my nephew graduate from high school tonight. I was so proud of him. He did it despite being really behind from skipping school and he and his girlfriend had a baby together last summer. There was a family there that lost their daughter in a car accident earlier in the year and came to accept her diploma. The mother was crying so hard and I couldn't even look at her because I would have started crying. All I could do was put myself in her shoes and I don't know what I would do if I ever lost Cash. I think this all the time now that I am a mother.

I get teased a lot by family members that Cash is a "mama's boy" and that he is spoiled. Who cares? Yes, he will be spoiled. I mean he is totally worth it! So what if he's a Mama's Boy? What's so bad about him loving his mother? He can sleep with me forever if he wants because how do I know it won't be the last time?

Our Happy Family

Not much going on here lately. Work, work, work. I was sick for a week. I was sick at the end of April too. I think it is lack of sleep and I just can't fight off an illness like I used to. Thankfully I wasn't contagious and Cash nor P got sick.

I am trusting P a little more each time he stays with C. One night when I was sick, C was very fussy (I think he is teething again) and P had to get up with him. He was very impatient with him and cursing a lot. He said that was the most impatient he has ever been. If so I don't have to worry when he is alone with him so much.

C is growing so much. We had a follow up cardiologist appointment and he said his biggest hole was 2mm 3 months ago and now it is 0.5mm. I have high hopes they will be all closed up when we go back in 6 months. He weighed 15pds! I'm pretty sure that is right on track. We go for his 4 month check up next week which means more shots BOO. He is sitting up more sturdy when I prop him up so this means cereal and baby food soon! I can't wait because bottles are getting on my nerves and formula is super expensive. He is making lots of noises and cooing and shrieking. It makes me happy. He will purse his lips and blow spit out as he makes noises. SO cute! He grabs at anything you put in front of him and puts it straight into his mouth. He is in size 3 diapers already. I have a whole box of size 2 I didn't even get to use. I think I'm going to try to take them back to Wal-Mart. I have only had to buy one package of newborn diapers since he was born. I have been very blessed to get so many in my 2 baby showers!

P and I have finally gotten used to our work pattern. We have Fridays off together which is great! We need that day off together to get things done around the house, like mow and car maintinace that we can't do when we are alone with C. 12 hour shifts turn into 14 for P and with my 1 hour drive each way mine turn into 17. We are super tired but it is worth it to each be able to stay home and raise our son! We were really against day care and are very lucky that we don't have to send him!

A nap will cure everything

I worked yesterday. I got a text from P at 1:45 asking when I get off because C "has been fussy all day". I didn't get off until 7pm. I hate when that happens. I am so afraid P is going to loose control and do only God knows what when I'm not home. When I got home C had scratches all over his face. C scratches his face when he gets mad and mainly when he is really sleepy. He likes to fight his sleep a lot. For some reason P doesn't know how to put him to sleep, so C doesn't sleep. He will sleep in 10 minute intervals. Well no freakin wonder he is crying all day! C also eats 5-6oz every 4-5 hours, P feeds him 4 oz every 2-3 hours. How is C ever going to sleep when he is eating every 2 hours? P just doesn't get it. It is so frustrating. When I try to talk to P about it he thinks I'm just telling him what a bad job he does and what a great job I do. That is not what I am doing what so ever; I just want to figure out what he does differently. C is so tired and miserable when I come home from work. When C and I are together we have a fantastic time! We play and take naps. He only cries when he is in the carseat. He hates his carseat. I wish I could feel comforable when C is alone with P, but I don't know if I will be for a long time.

Mother's Day.

It's my first Mother's Day. I feel sad and selfish. I got to spend the whole day with Cash and I am happy for every single second I get to spend with him. My mom hasn't been a mom, P's mom is going out of town and my step-mom lives in southern Texas. So, I have been alone. I got texts and Facebook messages that wished me Happy Mothers Day. They were all really nice but they didn't make me feel special. I guess it all boils down to P not making me feel special. It feels like any other day. I hope to get a card I can keep and put into Cash's baby book but I doubt I will even get that. I guess I shouldn't expect this to be different than any other special occasion. P had never been good at making my birthday special. I usually always end up buying my own gifts and he has never thrown me a party or organized friends to go out for my birthday. I just thought this would be different...

This is only the beginning.

So the past couple of weeks C has been in love with his fingers and hands. At first I thought he found his hands. Then he proceeded to shove his hand so far in he would gag himself. I thought it was too early to start teething. This week he has stopped sleeping through the night. He will wake up at 1 or 2am crying. He is restless a lot in his sleep. Well I posted this on Facebook and someone else mentioned he is probobly teething. P told me today he has been super fussy and crying a lot. Sure enough when I get home all he does is cry. He seems so uncomfortable. I got him some baby orajel and it helped some but I think I'm going to have to break down and give him the Tylenol I bought him as well. Nobody is getting any sleep around here. Tomorrow is supposed to be my great niece K's first birthday party and if he is acting like this we aren't going. It is about a 50 min drive and I won't be able to handle him non stop screaming in the car all the way there. He hates his carseat and cries anyway so add teething in and it is enough to drive this Mama crazy!

Happy Nurses Day!

Thought I would share a couple of cool pictures.

Routine

Kinda getting settled into a routine around here. P and I have worked it out so that we get one day off a week together except when I'm on call on my pre-scheduled weekends. It helps that C sleeps through the night. We actually get some rest around here. P doesn't have that natrual instinct like I do and C can sense it. At the end of the day when I work P begs me to get home quickly cause he needs a break. He loves his Mama what can I say? When I'm at work I miss him so much! I want to kiss him, cuddle him and hug him so bad!

C is getting so big! He is laughing smiling and rolling over onto his side. He will sit up for about 1 second without help. As soon as he sits up we are starting baby food! I can't stand making bottles anymore or washing those stinkin bottles! I need to start researching baby food recipes to use in my Baby Bullet that I got brand new for $60!