Baby #2

I know I never posted anything about baby #2 so here goes. COMPLETE surprise. OVERWHELMING suprise. GIFT FROM GOD surprise. At a time in our marraige where we were completely overhwelmed and struggling emotionally and financially God gave us the gift of life. I was never so conflicted in my life. Scared beyond belief at how we are going to support another baby when we can barely support our family now. Concerned at how this was going to change our marraige even further. Guilt set in at how can I love another child like I do Cash. Now to spread finances between two children and I may not be able to give Cash everything I didn't have when I was a child. I felt like I was spinning out of control. I couldn't be happy for myself. Worry consumed me. I told a few people and they were so excited. I thought, "how can other people be so excited when I am not?". Consumed with the worry of another pregancy. The normal stressors of a new pregancy, misscarraige, still birth, birth defects and everything else that could go bad. I also worried about my weight. But God always has a plan and I prayed and prayed and prayed. The turning point for me was about 12 weeks when I went in for my monthly check and the NP couldn't doppler a heartbeat. Scared the crap out of me because this never happened with Cash. The feeling of saddness and worry flooded my brain. They send me in for and ultrasound. I was alone because Cash was asleep in the car with P. I didn't expect a sono so I told him to stay in the car. A few minutes later she had me in for an ultrasound and there it was a heartbeat. I was relieved beyond belief. At that point I said no more bad feelings or animosity towards this gift of life growing inside of me. I allowed myself to be excited. Here we are at 17 weeks. Heart rate was 160 which my OB said olds wives tales says girl. Well, we shall wait and see. This time we will not find out the gender. We are not even sharing names we have picked out. This journey I started in April 2010 is not over yet. I just never thought it would continue with a brother or sister for my sweet Cash! FYI-I suffer from PCOS which stands for polycystic ovarian syndrome. I went on birth control pills when I was 18. I gained about 40 pounds after that. I blamed it on the birth control pills. When I got married in 2005 I went off the pill in hopes to start a family. It didn't happen. In 2007 I was having a lot of pain and was diagnosed with PCOS. I was put on metformin ( a pill to regulate your blood sugars and in turn your hormone levels) in hopes to get pregnant. I had a lot of side effects and didn't get pregnant so I went off metformin. I had the cysts removed surgically in 2008 and still wasn't able to get pregnant. P and I had come to terms with not having children. I am a firm believer in if it's meant to be it will happen. It just wasn't meant to be for us. In 2010 I was going to have the lap band done. For insurance I was required to go on a doctor monitored diet. I lost 16 pounds. The day before my last doctors appointment I found out I was pregnant. Fast forward to January 2013 I lost 8 pounds in 2 months doing Weight Watchers and then I find out I'm pregnant. The moral of my story, a girl who never thought she would have kids due to PCOS, is LOOSE WEIGHT. Weight gain precipitates the development of PCOS and if you loose weight, for me as little as 8 pounds, you have a better chance of getting pregnant. No doctor ever told me that.

Toddler

Cash is a crazy man. Talking so good, repeating everything you say. Starting to say really funny things all on his own. Like the time I told him he stunk and asked if I could check his diaper. He repiled, No, I fart. Or the time he wrote all over himself and insisted they were tattoos. Funny stuff I tell you. His eating habits are crazy. Can't even sneak veggies in on him. He loves PB & J sandwiches, anything cheese, cupcakes, candy and cheetos. I've been supplementing with Pediasure and he seems to like it. Gives me a little reasureance on the vitamin level. Trying to convince him that he is going to be a big brother isn't working so well. He is clueless. He knows Mama has a baby in her belly but he doesn't really know what that means. Potty training is kinda hit or miss (haha). For about a month he pooped and peed in his potty everyday when his diaper was off. Recently not so much. He pooped on the kitchen floor today and pees everywhere all the time. Hard not to keep a diaper on him when he is marking every inch of the house several times an hour. I'd like to get him potty trained before the baby comes but I don't see that happening in give ro take 160 days. He has been spending a lot of time at his Granny and Papa's house. It's pretty much his favorite place and Papa is his favorite person. I'm so glad because I didn't know my dad's parents (don't even know their names) and my mothers parents I wasn't that close with. Cash's imagination is awesome and he loves to pretend. You have to guide him and give him ideas but he takes off on his own. He loves to line all the kitchen chairs up at the door and pretend they are a bus or train and give all his stuffed animals a ride. He won't sleep in his toddler bed for anything. We have tried everything. I think we are going to have to convert him to a full size bed and try that. Works out ok because his baby furniture can go to the new bambino anyway. He loves to cook with me. He uses a knife when he's beside me. He loves to taste things and say with the widest most suprised eyes, "I wike E" translated to "I like it". I'm going to have to change the name of the blog since baby #2 will be here roughly in October.

We've got a talker on our hands.

My lil man is really growing up! He says things that amaze me all the time. We were watching TV and he completed the jingle of the Farmers commercial. Right out of no where. Tripped me out! He like commercials, especially ones with animals in them. The other day he pointed to letters on a box and correctly identified "B" and "C". Doesn't know "A" but hey I couldn't believe it! I guess the $5 I spent on that Elmo app is really paying off. He is banging his head less. By less I mean he will only hit it one time now instead of 20. I think he has permanant bump on his head. I hope it doesn't hang around and he grows out of this very soon. He doesn't want to sleep in his crib and cries EVERY night. Most of the time he will sit and play (I love watching him play on the monitor) the start nodding off and finally he will lay down. It's pretty funny. I'm still contemplating putting him in a Mothers Day Out program at the local church. He enjoys playing with kids so much. I'll reevaluate in the summer though because there are too many sicknessess going on at the moment! He is currently on antibiotics for a sinus infection. In 16 days my booger will be 2. I can hardly believe it. His party is trains. One of his favorite things. I plan on going all out for every single on of his birthdays FYI. I don't care if he will remember or not. I his invitations and party decorations are all handmade from Etsy. The invitations were $4 each but totally worth it in my eyes. I'll post pictures when I get everything in!

Here we go again.

I blame it all on my sister Lil K. I just had to treat P to a little birthday "somethin somethin". Who knew that exact day I was ovulating? The next day I was spotting which I chalked up to the beginning of my period. The next day the sickness started and for the next two weeks, sickness and nausea. The same symptoms I had when I was pregnant with Cash. Three pregnancy tests confirm, I am pregnant again. Loosing weight has done it again! Weight Watchers brought me down 8 whole pounds. Apparently, 8 less pounds is enough to help you get pregnant.

Total shock has turned into panic. They say with your second you have the "been there, done that" mentality but I don't. First, I am about 15 pounds heavier than before I had Cash. I am consumed with the fear of miscarriage. I know I did the same thing with Cash but I'm still scared. I feel like I had the perfect pregnancy with Cash and this time I'm testing fate. I pray and pray and pray. I pray for my trust in God to be strengthened and that I realize he has a plan for me and my family. I pray my fears go away and that He will never give me more than I can handle. I think I will feel better once I have my first doctors appointment and see the tiny blip on the screen. For those reading this pray for me. Pray for a healthy pregnancy and baby, that my worrying and fear stop and pray that I can trust him.

List of words

airp-airplane sta-star ooon-moon boon-balloon moo-says the cow choo choo honk ite-light noooo ess-yes papa mommy daddy babe peeese-please an ew-thank you backpack-(when he sees Dora) peepee yay kinkle kinkle kinkle-singing Twinkle Twinkle little star un ew ee- one, two, three

Trucking Along

Life is trucking along. My sweet boy is growing and growing and growing. He says new words each day which for some reason continues to amaze me. He is SO smart. He can't talk much but he can point to everything that you ask him to. I taught him where his heart was the other night and he pats it "boom...boom" like I taught him. He loves butterfly, eskimo and elephant kisses. He is SUPER shy around people, especially strangers. He will hold on to my neck so tight. I love it but was hoping he would be outgoing and not so shy. He got his 2nd haircut a few weeks ago and it makes him look even more grown up than ever. It's a faux hawk and so awesome! His hair is still bleach blonde and I hope it doesn't change for a long time. Little boys are cute with blonde hair but adults not so much. He loves the moon, stars, airplanes and trains. He loves to draw with a pen and paper. Every night he reads a story to his 3 bears and kitty cat. That is how he eventually falls asleep. Some night when he doesn't want to sleep I will bring him in the bed with me and we will sing songs, tell stories and snuggle. He sings Twinkle Twinkle Little Star with me. It's enough to melt my heart. He gives lots of kisses and has to be right next to me. I think he knows that as long as he is doing this he won't have to go to his crib. I love it so much. Only twice has he fallen asleep in bed with me. He has too much fun to sleep! Here are the words he can currently say: (I'm sure I'm forgetting some) moon star spoon thank you please mama daddy babe yes no stop choo choo He says anything you ask him to repeat but these are the ones he says a lot. Work has been very busy lately. The last 3 Mondays I have to drive BACK to work after getting off, driving and hour home, eating and I just lay down to bed. My days turn into 21-22 hour days. It's exhausting knowing you have to get up and chase around a toddler the following day. P and I are going to spend a much needed day off together this weekend. Cash is going to his grandparents to spend the night for the first time. I'm really nervous but I think I'm just going to miss him too much :(

Let's play a little catch up.

Honestly my posts are few and far between because I rarely use my laptop anymore. My iPad is my life and I highly recommend everybody get one! It's just hard to type on it, so I don't. Halloween is approaching. Cash got invited to his first Halloween party! He is going as a rockstar. Wish me luck with the spiked hair part. For his actual Halloween costume he is going as Chucky! If Granny P can get fabric and sew his shirt. It's harder than you can imagine to find a shirt like Chucky wore. I'm excited to see how it will turn out. Cash continues to get smarter everyday. You show this kid something once he can do it forever. With that being said he also continues to test his dad and me and push as far as he can. He likes to throw tantrums that went from headbanging to hitting himself in the stomach now it's throwing himself on the floor. I have also inacted spanking. He cries and then proceeds to say "mommy" and hug me everytime. Starting to think of his 2nd birthday too. It's a little over 3 months away. I just can't believe it. Since he turned one time has just flown by! The battle of the pacifier "paci" will soon be starting. Now he only uses it to go to sleep. It's going to be really hard. The day he turns 2 it's gone forever. Some of my favorite things he does now: closed mouth kisses. for no reason. always first thing when he wakes up. Eskimo kisses are his favorite. when he runs. He smiles and takes off. It's kind of fast walking with a bounce. he loves loves loves to cook. If I'm at the kitchen counter or washing dishes he pushes a chair right up and helps me with whatever I'm doing. It's cute until he pushes it up to the stove and thinks it's ok. His expressions are priceless. They make me laugh out loud. I love how silly he is.