Trucking Along

Life is trucking along. My sweet boy is growing and growing and growing. He says new words each day which for some reason continues to amaze me. He is SO smart. He can't talk much but he can point to everything that you ask him to. I taught him where his heart was the other night and he pats it "boom...boom" like I taught him. He loves butterfly, eskimo and elephant kisses. He is SUPER shy around people, especially strangers. He will hold on to my neck so tight. I love it but was hoping he would be outgoing and not so shy. He got his 2nd haircut a few weeks ago and it makes him look even more grown up than ever. It's a faux hawk and so awesome! His hair is still bleach blonde and I hope it doesn't change for a long time. Little boys are cute with blonde hair but adults not so much. He loves the moon, stars, airplanes and trains. He loves to draw with a pen and paper. Every night he reads a story to his 3 bears and kitty cat. That is how he eventually falls asleep. Some night when he doesn't want to sleep I will bring him in the bed with me and we will sing songs, tell stories and snuggle. He sings Twinkle Twinkle Little Star with me. It's enough to melt my heart. He gives lots of kisses and has to be right next to me. I think he knows that as long as he is doing this he won't have to go to his crib. I love it so much. Only twice has he fallen asleep in bed with me. He has too much fun to sleep! Here are the words he can currently say: (I'm sure I'm forgetting some) moon star spoon thank you please mama daddy babe yes no stop choo choo He says anything you ask him to repeat but these are the ones he says a lot. Work has been very busy lately. The last 3 Mondays I have to drive BACK to work after getting off, driving and hour home, eating and I just lay down to bed. My days turn into 21-22 hour days. It's exhausting knowing you have to get up and chase around a toddler the following day. P and I are going to spend a much needed day off together this weekend. Cash is going to his grandparents to spend the night for the first time. I'm really nervous but I think I'm just going to miss him too much :(

Let's play a little catch up.

Honestly my posts are few and far between because I rarely use my laptop anymore. My iPad is my life and I highly recommend everybody get one! It's just hard to type on it, so I don't. Halloween is approaching. Cash got invited to his first Halloween party! He is going as a rockstar. Wish me luck with the spiked hair part. For his actual Halloween costume he is going as Chucky! If Granny P can get fabric and sew his shirt. It's harder than you can imagine to find a shirt like Chucky wore. I'm excited to see how it will turn out. Cash continues to get smarter everyday. You show this kid something once he can do it forever. With that being said he also continues to test his dad and me and push as far as he can. He likes to throw tantrums that went from headbanging to hitting himself in the stomach now it's throwing himself on the floor. I have also inacted spanking. He cries and then proceeds to say "mommy" and hug me everytime. Starting to think of his 2nd birthday too. It's a little over 3 months away. I just can't believe it. Since he turned one time has just flown by! The battle of the pacifier "paci" will soon be starting. Now he only uses it to go to sleep. It's going to be really hard. The day he turns 2 it's gone forever. Some of my favorite things he does now: closed mouth kisses. for no reason. always first thing when he wakes up. Eskimo kisses are his favorite. when he runs. He smiles and takes off. It's kind of fast walking with a bounce. he loves loves loves to cook. If I'm at the kitchen counter or washing dishes he pushes a chair right up and helps me with whatever I'm doing. It's cute until he pushes it up to the stove and thinks it's ok. His expressions are priceless. They make me laugh out loud. I love how silly he is.

Lots going on but nothing really going on.

Cash is 19 months, 33 inches, 25 pds. He can pretty much repeat anything you tell him to say. He's funny. He's bad. He's teething which brings out the brat in him. He has been banging his head on anything hard when he's super tired and grumpy. He's got the lumps, bumps and bruises on his forehead to prove it. Pediatrician says he won't bang hard enough to hurt himself so I just act cheery and ignore him/go on my merry way. This will either 1. piss him off and bang his head more or 2. make him stop and follow me crying his eyes out rubbing boogers and snot on my pant leg. He'll out grow it...eventually. He likes to be so independant. He won't sit in a seat of any kind at the table. He stands in a chair. Resturants are a no go unless it's 3 pm when no one is there so he can proceed to climb on me and scream and be crazy. He loves to push a chair to the counter and cook or wash dishes. Don't you dare move him or he will throw himself backward like you just took away his candy. Strollers are also a spawn of the devil according to Cash. I got him a back pack with a leash but I feel so dumb using it. He doesn't like not being able to run as far and fast as he can either. "Driving" his his favorite. He likes to turn the steering wheel, put the key in the ignition and turn the radio on. I literally have to pry his hands off the wheel to go inside. Kinda sorta working on potty training. Got some underwear for Cash today and OH MY WORD are they cute on his little tush. He goes with P to pee as often as he can to see what it's all about. He only likes to flush. He knows what pooping is because he will go off by himself, in a corner or other room and come back with a hand full of poop. Yeah, almost everytime. It got old the 2nd time he did it and we are on time #5,390 so we are beyond ready for him to go in the toliet! For P and I: work, pay bills and keep Cash occupied.

Mostly about me

Took Cash swimming at his great Aunt S's house last week. He had the best time. He was fearless and loved being thrown up into the air. He is getting so tall. I look at old pictures and I barely recognize him. Kinda getting baby fever again but not because I want a little baby to hold. It's because I feel like I'm getting older and my clock is ticking. I don't want to be old and fat having a baby. Too many complications. So we will see what God has in store for me. Struggling with my weight. Took family picures last month and I look absolutely horrid in them. I keep saying I will start a diet soon but I just can't seem to do it. I feel guilty most of all. Guilty I can't run with Cash. Guilty I can't take him on rides at the water park. Guilty that I have no self control or drive to diet and excerise. Guilty that one day Cash will be embarrased of me. Guilty that I could leave this world early and leave Cash motherless. You would think that would make me diet but it doesn't. Food addiction sucks. Cash can point to parts on his body. He says mama daddy and ewww. We have been waiting for words for so long. I really don't want him to have to have speech therapy. Other than that we just try to keep him busy around the house cause man. it's hot outside!

Exploring

Cash is getting really good as saying Mama. He says it all the time. His favorite things to do are open the dishwasher, pull everything out and then put it all back in. He does this all while standing in the dishwasher lid. He hates going into his carseat. He wants to stand and turn on the dome light. Or crawl into the front seat and honk the horn and play with EVERY knob or button on the dashboard. Buttons are his thing.

Lil J is in town from Cal i forn e i a. Cash is having a grand time playing with all her kiddos. He just loves other kids so much. I'm already dreading her return home on Monday.

Mothers day.

Cash was sweet today. It was a great day because of that! A few times I told him "no" he would start crying and walk over to me, put his head on my shoulder and cry like someone hurt his feelings. He is shy around people at first but after a while he warms up and he is his normal crazy self. He has a fascination with pulling up people's shirts. He loves to kiss other babies; just because. You don't even have to ask him to. He is obsessed with sticking his hands down his pants. Anytime his diaper is off he is pushing on his penis or belly button. He likes to stick stuff in his ears and eating crayons. I took his stuffed animals out of his bin to but them in his room and he picked them up and tried to put them back in the same bin. He won't point to his parts but he will close his eyes, brush his hair, wipe his mouth, blow is nose and stick out his tongue. I think that means he knows his parts!even though he can't talk he can tell you what he wants. Today I was standing in the step into his playroom and he pulled my pant leg gesturing me to come in. it amazes me how smart he has become.

Defiance and anger.

I was sitting in the drive thru today and saw a woman getting on to her son and he was just crying and crying. This made me really sad because the first thing I thought of was that that is going to be me someday. I thought how he's going to be really bad one day. One day he's not going to want to be around me and say mean things about/to me. It makes me sad at how fast children grow up and away from you. One day I will miss spending bath time with him and reading him stories. One day he's not going to need me and it makes me really sad.

Cash is getting better at [being a brat] showing his anger and frustration. He now hits things when he is mad, including his dad and Me. P was totally against spanking him because he thought it would teach him that it was ok to hit things. I have swatted his butt and hands a few times. All it really did was piss him off even more and well, taught him how to hit. I guess we will lay off that. Today when he was pissed I wouldn't let him go outside he hit the couch and pouted. He has gotten pretty good at throwing fits. They include throwing himself on the ground and screaming. I just ignore him when he does it and in a few seconds he's gets up and goes about his day. He likes it do the exact opposite of what we tell him not to do. When we say "give me that" he takes off running. He also has what we call a "death grip". When he latches on to something he isn't supposed to have we have to pry his hands free. Screaming and throwing fits is his favorite.

15 month appointment was depressing kinda. Dr said Cash's speech is delayed. I already dreaded this.i knew he wasn't saying enough words. Shoot, the only time he says mama or dad is when he's upset. No other words just jibberish. She said she isn't too worried since he understands what we say. I will leave this one in Gods hands.