Being a bad friend.

I talked with Lil J last night. I haven't been a good friend to her. When I talk on the phone to her (which is a rarity) I find myself talking only about me, then I let her go and she hasn't even had a chance to talk. I have anxiety about talking on the phone to people because I can't stand silence. I feel very uncomfortable and awkward if I run out of things to say. The only people I can talk without anxiety is my sisters, husband and step mom. I can talk to my sisters for hours without running out of stuff to say. Anyhoo, we talked for an hour and I kept reminding myself to ask questions and not talk about Cash unless she asked me about him. She recently moved a few states away and is having a hard time adjusting. I mean can you imagine living somewhere for 3 years, making friends, finding a church home, getting to know your kid's teachers, loving your home and then moving away suddenly just to have to start over? And about a week after she got there she got into a car accident, they military people gave away her home she had reserved months before because they arrived late, then the paperwork was lost so they had to get a small house and they don't have room for all their belongings. She is just really depressed and that is why I called. I wanted her to know even though I don't call that I am here for her. I love her lots and miss her even more. She made me feel alot better about things I worry too much about. Like Cash's milestones. She told me to stop comparing and that he will hit them when he's ready. I was hoping she would need me but I ended up needing her right at that moment.

Almost 13 months

Cash is just growing up too fast. He has 6 teeth, waves bye bye and hi. He plays patty cake and can almost blow kisses. He has been off of the bottle and formula since 2 days after his birthday. He didn't miss it one bit. No more baby food either. Just table food! Today he had his first hamburger and he almost ate the whole thing! He sleeps in his crib and most nights he goes down without crying. He plays well by himself in his playroom. He is intrigued by pushing buttons and turning on switches, ringing the door bell and pulling the chain to turn on the fan. We can't watch movies when he is awake because he turns off and opens the bluray player constantly. We even covered the lights with black tape but somehow he still knew the player was on. He knows how to throw fits now too and screams till his lips turn blue sometimes. When he has something in his hands you can say, "give me that" and he takes off running. He loves being chased. It's his favorite game. He will laugh and laugh. His little laugh is music to my ears. He lives to dance and every time he hears music he will look at me and just start dancing! He has gotten picky with his food and won't eat corn, peas or green beans anymore. Watermelon gives him a bad rash. Too bad, watermelon is good!

I look at his baby pictures and I can't remember him being so tiny. Bittersweet.